Me, Myself & I

As the curtain comes down on 2018, I’m reminiscing some songs that have stirred & impacted me this year.  For me the year turned out to be a one, in which, I had to transcend more relationships than I had thought, when the year began.  Therefore, the first song that reverberates continues to be my evergreen favorite number चलते चलते मेरे ये गीत याद रखना, कभी अलविदा ना कहना…  (in the passing, remember my songs, and never say goodbye).

Last July, listening to this song humbled me.

Oh, it's just me, myself and I

Solo ride until I die

‘Cause I got me for life

Oh, I don't need a hand to hold

Even when the night is cold

I got that fire in my soul[1]

Reminding me of the solo ride of life, it inspired me to continue being in touch with that fire in my soul. This reinforced for me - seeking the fulfilment within doesn’t need a big plan; it just surfaces when one adjusts the radio frequency to peep within. 

 The other day, driving to airport during the bewitching hours I tuned into Fever FM. RJ Urmin was chatting with Bollywood score composer Jeet Ganguly. Jeet’s narration about making of the title song of खामोशियाँ (khamoshiyan or the silences) touched me deeply.  The songs says --

खामोशियाँ आवाज़ हैं

तुम सुनने तो आओ कभी

छू कर तुम्हें खिल जाएँगी

घर इनको बुलाओ कभी

बेकरार है बात करने को

कहने दो इनको ज़रा…

 क्या उस गली में कभी तेरा जाना हुआ

जहाँ से ज़माने को गुज़रे ज़माना हुआ…

 

खामोशियाँ एक साज़ है

तुम धुन कोई लाओ ज़रा

खामोशियाँ अल्फ़ाज़ है

कभी आ गुनगुना ले ज़रा…[2]

This song not only helped me to celebrate the silences around but also made me aware of my own journey over the years. A transformative journey of accepting my unclaimed introversion, wherein I found myself with nothing but my heartbeat by my side.  Initially it had felt lonely but in due course, turned out to be a precious movement from loneliness to solitude.  If you have taken a trip within than perhaps you will resonate with my feelings of satisfaction, peace and joy.

When you spontaneously tune into the music around, breaking free from the societal boxes, becomes easy.  My gratitude for life kindled to a new high, when a song I stumbled upon not only put me in touch with the “fountain of youth” but also made me realize that “I’m getting to my best years yet”. “The Older I Get” by Alan Jackson which goes like this --

The older I get

The more I think

You only get a minute,

better live while you’re in it

'Cause it’s gone in a blink

And the older I get

The truer it is

It’s the people you love, not the money and stuff

That makes you rich

 

The older I get

The fewer friends I have

But you don’t need a lot when the ones that you got

Have always got your back

And the older I get

The better I am

At knowing when to give

And when to just not give a damn

 

And I don’t mind all the lines

From all the times I’ve laughed and cried

Souvenirs and little signs of the life I’ve lived

 

The older I get

The longer I pray

I don’t know why, I guess that I

Got more to say

And the older I get

The more thankful I feel

For the life I’ve had, and all the life I’m living still

Serendipitous instances, much like listening to these songs and realising a few home truths about my being, have often proved transcendental. Such points have helped me uncover the holes & crevices I didn’t know exist; letting discover elements within myself.  These times have made me less incomplete. In turn, helping me own up my disowned parts and experience wholesomeness in company of my heartbeat.

My realization, when one’s life is punctuated by silences (reflections within) and hyphenated with mindful moments, it facilitates the ‘makeover’.  A process where fragmented “I” paves way for a more aligned “me” and the fractured “me” makes way for an integrated “myself”. 

For me the journey from “I” to “Me” and “Me” to “Myself” has often meant to shed facades, embrace the disowned parts and celebrate the transitions.  However, I must hasten to add that this process is never complete.  For, it gives rise to a new “fragmented I” as soon as Harish makes the “integrated myself” a holy grail, making this an ever-expanding spiral. 

“Be satisfied enough to be happy and dissatisfied enough to grow” has been an adage that has propelled me through life.  However, embracing this adage has meant finding a pause or ठहराव; it is a word in Hindi, for which I don’t find an English equivalent (the closest perhaps is pause/ abeyance).  As I look forward to 2019, I am wishing for myself a little more ठहराव. 

Wishing you all the very best of 2019.  Do share the poetry & songs that touch your life -- harish@potentia.in

---

[1] Me, Myself & I – song by American rapper G-Eazy – 2015

[2] Source & Translation at: http://www.krazylyrics.in/2014/12/15/khamoshiyan-translation-arijit-singh/